Encouragement
for the Soul

Your statutes are my delight;

they are my counselors.

The Blog

Loss, Grief and Lament

Loss is something we struggle to put words to. It’s something that often feels like the “black hole” of the soul. A place where we feel the magnetic forces of sorrow pulling us into an unknown space for an uncertain amount of time. Loss, be it death of a loved one; demise of a close relationship; a traumatic event or unexpected snatching of one’s health, can leave us feeling stunned and empty. There are hardly words to explain this phenomenon. At times we find that there are no more tears to cry, so our body stores them up in our gut until our eyes find the strength to release the downpour of pain yet again. Loss… What do we do with it? How do we cope? Where is God in the midst of such pain? Is it okay to feel so fragile, emotionally as well as in faith? In an effort to be strong, we often stuff these questions down and trudge through the waters that threaten to engulf us. But God tells us and even commissions us to pour our hearts out to Him. “Trust in Him at all times, you people. Pour out your hearts to Him for God is our refuge.” Psalm 62:8 I think it’s so important to remember that God has given us permission to question and struggle. He gives us permission to grieve. He has devoted an entire book to this through Lamentations. An entire book on grieving. He knew how the fall of man coupled with the strikes of the enemy would cause us such pain. He has not left us unequipped or without words. He has them expressed in Lamentations and other books, such as Psalms and Job. God didn’t say to us that we should always be strong and be posititive during pain. Actually, He wants honesty from us. In fact, He instructs those who are walking beside those who are in the freshness of suffering to be very careful “Like one who takes away a garment on a cold day, or like vinegar poured on a wound, is one who sings songs to a heavy heart.” Prov 25:20 Let Him console and comfort you through His Words, His people and His songs that He gives to minister into our struggling hearts. Buy Why? Why is this happening? It is wrong to ask why? No, absolutely not! But in asking, please know that more than likely (and over time), God will answer the “what” and “where.” What do I do and where do I go from here. He will also answer the “who” and “how.” How our very big God will restore you because He is a restorer of life. He will do this gradually and through beautiful and grace filled ways. The crux of our faith rest on God’s grace and power. Life came from what was the greatest and darkest tragedy. “Though you have made me see troubles, many and bitter, you WILL restore my life again; from the depths of the earth you will again bring me up.” Psalm 71:20 He brings life back to our days that may feel like nothing but “death.” Dear Friends, in whatever you might be facing today, take comfort in the counsel of God, His help for today and His hope for tomorrow. Feelings are very important and should be honored, especially in the beginnings of fresh pain. Might we also remember that they are incredibly fragile and “frazzled” when the unexpected occurs. Share your heart and hurt with a friend and let them listen patiently and love you simply with their presence. Sometimes we just need someone’s presence. Sometimes their silence. When desired, let that person pray for you and cover you in Gods grace. You are not alone and He is so much closer than it seems. “The Lord your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing.” Zeph 3:17 Lastly, may we be confident that amidst a dark hour, a fresh day will come once again. Rest your soul in His love… “I remain confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.” Psalm 27:13-14 Love you all, td All reactions: 22Lanie Dean, Charlotte Ann Buscher Jones and 20 others

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Shaping Us or Shutting Us Down? (Thoughts on Rejection)

“Before I was born the Lord called me; from my birth He has made mention of my Name. He said to me, “You are my servant, Israel, in whom I will display My splendor.” (v.16) I will never forget you. I have engraved you on the palms of my hands; your walls are ever before me.” Isaiah 49:1,3,8 The words of God spoken lovingly to his children. His intent is for us to remind ourselves of them and also be aware that certain things in our worlds can make us question our significance. Rejection, for one…Yikes, it hits us in our core, threatening our sense of belonging and making us question our worth and value. It’s not pretty and its definitely not fun. Why does it hurt so badly? Interestingly enough, I was reading an article that made it make perfect sense. It said, “When scientist placed people in functional MRI machines and asked them to recall a recent rejection, they discovered something amazing. The same areas of our brain become activated when we experience rejection as when we experience physical pain. That’s why even small rejections hurt more than we think they should, b/c they elicit literal emotional pain.” Rejection can make us question our worth as we often feel “thrown aside” or easily forgotten. Though that is not the truth, it can certainly seem that way. There is a temptation to shut down and listen to the mean thoughts the enemy invites us to accept. The thoughts that make us feel fearful or condemned. In hopes of oppressing us, he invites us to isolate and suggest that we make a personal pledge to build our wall higher and never let anyone “in” again. And I’ll be honest the long term “hibernation” can occasionally seem appealing. Depending on what stage of sadness I’m in usually is indicated by how much chocolate and caffeine is present. Ha! Back to pointing us in the right direction. I value how God is not some positive, push your feelings down self-help coach! He knows the problem that can lead to. Therefore, just like a good parent and/or knowledgeable counselor, God never minimizes our pain. Psalm 22 speaks into such hurt that has the potential to push us forward or prevent us from continuing with what He calls us to do. He beckons us to be honest with our struggles. “Why are you so far from saving me, so far from my cries of anguish? Do not be far from me, the trouble is near and there is no one to help. You are my strength; come quickly to help me.” Psalm 22: 1,11,19 God has never avoided our questions, nor does He discourage us to ask them. The psalmist poses questions that give us insight into his own internal struggles. Had God abandoned him? Was God rejecting him too? Was this rejection a sign of God’s discipline or perhaps even favor (as we see so many heroes of the faith went through enormous bouts of rejection, ex- David – 1 Samuel 16)? “For the Lord will NOT reject His people; He will never forsake his inheritance.” Psalms 94:14 “Before I was born the Lord called me; from my birth He has made mention of my Name. He said to me, “You are my servant, Israel, in whom I will display My splendor.” (v.16) I will never forget you. I have engraved you on the palms of my hands; your walls are ever before me.” Isaiah 49:1,3,8  We must remind ourselves of what God says and sees. God wanted you to know that He called you while still in your mother’s womb. The very first voice speaking into your life was His. You are not an accident. You are not less than! He formed you for intentional purpose as you and I would carry qualities of the living God into a needy world. He used imagery that we are familiar with to deepen understanding about his love for us. He engraved your name in the palm of his hand, burning your letters into the very tender layers of skin. “You, Lord, hear the desire of the afflicted; you encourage them and you listen to their cry; defending the fatherless and the oppressed, so that earthly mortals will never strike terror again.” Psalm 10:17-18. The enemy wants us to be victims, not overcomers. He wants us to get stuck in hate, bitterness, doubt and self-abuse. We have to be careful we don’t jump on board. Sounds extreme, but left undone, it can happen. In times of rejection, ask Jesus to give you, HIS perspective. Give Him time and prayer. Lean in and contemplate. Sometimes, God allows rejection because we began to replace a person for God. In other words, their opinions became our truth. We become somewhat emotionally dependent on a human. The temporary pain of the withdrawal of their friendship can protect us from a much bigger pain if we continue to seek people rather than God. His influence in our lives has to remain primary. He truly is the lover of our souls and cares the most deeply for us! He is not abandoning us but allowing rejection to redirect our affections and attention. He has things for us to know but we have to be with Him to hear. Sometimes, God allows rejection because He has a different plan for us and it may be necessary for certain doors to close in order for others to open. Sometimes rejection is a part of the process in order for us to continue growing in where God is taking us and who He is making us to be. What feels like pain, can be a pathway to a freedom that would not have otherwise been attained. “Since God intends to make you like Jesus, he will take you through the same experiences Jesus went through. That includes loneliness, temptation, stress, criticism, rejection, and many other problems.” Rick Warren At times, what we feel is rejection

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